Revisions

 

I’m supposed to be working on revisions for a story – I have a neat folder titled “WORKSHOP FEEDBACK” on my desktop – but I can’t bring myself to do it. I will, in fact, do anything except revise that story. 

For example, today I revised two completely different stories, wrote part of another, read half of A Sport and a Pastime for one of my courses, and played Minecraft for four hours. This was after waking up at 6:00am to bake cookies for my workshop group, which meets at 9:00am every Tuesday. 

I suspect that the mental block surrounding this specific story comes from my crippling need for validation. The painful truth is that I don’t want to read suggestions for my work because, in my mind, it’s perfect. It sprang fully formed from my mind, like Athena; and like Athena, it takes criticism harshly. Rationally, I know my writing isn’t perfect; but the most painful part of the writing process for me is taking a critical eye to what I wrote and applying the feedback of others. 

The other truth is that I have pages of notes from workshop and ideas for how to improve my story, but no clear idea of how to go about executing my vision. The best way to do it would be to open the documents, read the feedback, and begin making edits. 

However, I think that I deserve a break. The thousands of raw, unedited words that demand my attention can be left for tomorrow in favour of a far more important task: 

Ranking some of the dogs that I’ve seen on the streets of Edinburgh. This is a relative scale; most all dogs are good, and this ranking is entirely arbitrary and based on vibes and the day I saw them. 

Up first is Bonnie, the only named dog on this list. Bonnie belongs to the owner of a comic book store that’s conveniently along my walk to campus. Bonnie is not dead in this picture, simply enjoying the sun. Bonnie is a good old girl and a staple of the community. 10/10. 

Bonnie

Next up is a pair of chow chows. I couldn’t tell you much more about this pair of dogs, except that they were fluffy and beautiful. 20/10 (there are, after all, two of them. The math adds up, trust me). 

Taking third place is this delightful dog that a quick google search has convinced me is an otterhound. She reminded by of The Tramp. She was very gentle and a delightful dog to encounter outside of a brunch place. 10/10. 

Fourth is an English Springer Spaniel I encountered on my walk to campus. Her owner left her, leashless, outside of a pub. She greeted me with a wagging tail and followed me halfway down the block before returning to wait outside the pub. 9/10 (she loses a point for leaving me, although I understand why she did). 

Fifth place goes to this French bulldog. He was chunky, he was wide, he looked like he was dense as a brick. His owner gave me a bit of a dirty look when I snapped this picture. Unfortunately, he has to lose a couple of points for being a flat-nosed breed because, while I find it adorable, it isn’t the healthiest. 8/10. 

In sixth place are a pair of spaniels. They had a lot of energy and were completely behind their owner, busy sniffing everything. I thought they were very cute, but one of them pooped on the sidewalk while I watched and that wasn’t very cool. Three points each. 6/10. 

A husky is in seventh place. I wanted to pet him, but was afraid that he might snap at me, despite reassurances from the owner. Something about his Vibe was simply off that day. 6/10. 

This spider is in eighth place. I’ve named him Fig Junior. He lives in my room and keeps me company. I would place him higher, but he loses a lot of points for being a spider rather than a dog. 5/10. 

Last place goes to this pair of dogs. I really don’t know, I just don’t. It was a rainy day and they weren’t having a good time, I wasn’t having a good time, and the child they accompanied was not having a good time. I think the expression on the face of the one on the left says it all. They each get two points, which totals up to a 4/10.